This book tries to explain what happens to girls in early adolescence. As a young girl reaches puberty, studies show that the androgynous person she was (assertive, competent, courageous, intelligent, resilient, and optimistic) becomes a different person (self-critical, approval-seeking, introverted, depressed, submissive, and hostile). Many changes in development occur in the adolescent years--physical, emotional, intellectual, academic, social, and spiritual.

The story of Ophelia in Shakespheare's Hamlet is an excellent metaphor for the tragedy of what happens to these girls. Ophelia is a happy adolescent who falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his approval and her father's. She drowns in a stream when Hamlet rejects her for being an obedient daughter and thus meets a tragic end. Reviving Ophelia is interspersed with case studies that vividly illustrate Pipher's ideas and experience with this phenomenon. Thankfully she explains how she and other adults can combat this cycle.

Pipher believes there are three factors that pressure young women to lose their true selves.

1. The developmental factor which is their changing body, hormones, and way of thinking about themselves.

2. The cultural factor which is sexism, lookism (the evaluation of a person solely on the basis of appearance), and the general attitudes society has with respect to women.

3. The moving away from the strength and protection of the family towards a girl's unstable and struggling peers.

To further compound things, the rules about gender, power, appropriate behavior, and sexuality are all changing in our culture. During a time when communication between parents and kids is most crucial, girls are pulling away and rejecting the help they so desperately need. The crisis during this time manifests itself in any one (or many) ways: depression, eating disorders, rebellion, drug and alcohol abuse, sex and violence (usually against themselves).

The suggestions for helping these girls in crisis seem obvious in their description, but hard to practice in reality. They draw on what Pipher calls relationship-oriented cognitive and behaviorist healing theories:

--Listening with an empathetic, accepting, nonjudgmental, and respectful attitude can be empowering to these girls.

--Encouraging the girls to think and talk and live in more positive, solution-oriented, and empowering ways instead of talking in negative problem-oriented ways.

--Working with the girls towards increasing their openness to experience, competence, authenticity, and flexibility. A realistic appraisal of their environment and relationships with others can also help.

Pipher focuses on the family unit by supporting the partent's efforts to keep their child safe while at the same time fostering the adolescents' needs to move into the world (individuate, not separate). Finally, she tries to teach a process of looking within each girl to get them to answer the question, Who am I? The process includes knowing the difference between her own voice and the voice of others. The process is about acceptance of self and the understanding of her own place in our culture's complicated rule structure for women.

I would recommend anyone who has a daughter, plans to have one, or knows someone with one, to read this book. It has a cognitive flavor which should appeal to our particular mindset right now. It takes an interesting look at how our culture treats women, sex, and relationships in the 90s. Pipher is timely with this book because so many of these issues are not only of concern to adolescent girls, but to all of us--issues like teen pregnancy, the rising population of heterosexual teens and young adults with AIDS, sex on TV and in music, how our culture values women, and the effect of divorce on the family. Lots to think about.