How to Make a Bad Analogy

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Writers' Workshop

How to Make a Bad Analogy


By following the handy instructions provided on this page and by reading the really awful analogies given to guide your work, you too can make some truly terrible analogies. In other words, you can be a tremendously bad writer; all it takes is a little effort.

But first, you may be asking yourself: What is an analogy?

Good question!

Well, boys and girls, an analogy is when you describe or explain something in terms of somethings else. You use the "something else" because you figure it's more familiar to the reader. That way, the reader is more likely to understand what you were talking about in the first place.

Got it?! Yeah, I'll bet... OK, here's an example:

Writing is like mowing the lawn: You hate it, but the adults make you do it.
The something you're describing is...?

(Hint: You're describing writing.)

The something else you're using to describe the something is...?

(Hint: You're using mowing the lawn.)


Now that you're an expert, check out...

The Winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay" contest.

And, while you're at it, answer the really easy questions that go with them.


1. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)


2. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)


3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. (Russell Beland, Springfield)


4. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)


5. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley, Washington)


6. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)


7. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. (Russell Beland, Springfield)


8. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)


9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. (Unknown)


10.The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)


11.Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)


12.The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. (Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)


13.His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)


OK, you knew there was going to be some more work to do. And here it is:

1. Pick the worst analogy of them all by clicking on the button at the end of that sentence.
   Explain why it's the worst one. (Grossness does not count as a criterion.)


2. Write one that's even worser.


3. Find something in your current piece of writing for which you could write an analogy.
   And write one.

When you've finished the work, turn it in by filling out the form below.

Your name: Today's date:

Your e-mail address, if any:

Press the "send" button to submit your work.

Press the "Reset" button if you made a mistake in filling in the information.

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"Writers' Workshop: How to Make a Bad Analogy"
created by Stevan Kalmon,
<kalmon@bvsd.k12.co.us>
New Vista High School,
Last modified: May 6, 1998